How to Get on a Janitor's Bad Side (And Good Side)

If you recall my previous post, you know that I'm a janitor. I always used to feel bad for janitors. Like, "Aw, pobrecito. He has to clean up after everyone. That must be a terrible job." And actually.... it's not. Like, sure, there are occasionally things that I just plain don't wanna do because they're just plain unappealing. But it's not as bad as you might think. I am grateful for the slobs of the world. And also the not-slobs who use the garbage cans and toilet paper and other glamorous things.

However. There are ways to get on a janitor's bad side. So I'm going to clue you in on a few things.

First off: GUM. What in the world possesses people to stick chewed gum in random places? I don't get it!

Next off: Learn how to read signs. I'm honestly not sure how people can look at something that says Aluminum Cans and think it means Any-the-heck-thing you want.

Sometimes people like to leave giant, empty peanut butter jars and old banana peels under a chair in an obscure corner where they think I won't notice them........ I do. (And they wonder why we had a mouse in our building...)

Leaving a classroom in a condition like this is unacceptable if you are not an unsupervised four-year-old.

I'm really glad you and Runnis are so in love. Really. But you don't have to advertise it on any surface that can stand the pressure of graphite.

If you're also a custodian, don't do things like this. My job is not to fix your lousy job.

CHAIRS, CHAIRS, CHAIRS. I cannot rant on for long enough about chairs. This first picture is photographic evidence of the putting away of folding chairs in a manner that a half-brained monkey would grimace at. Seriously, stack them nicely so they all fit. (I had to fit over fifty more chairs into this room but had to rearrange all of these ones so I could do that.) The second is of chairs that should never be stacked. Because I have to push them over to the side and use all my body weight to un-stack them.

Um.... Don't forget your dirty laundry.

 Or your dirty tissues.

For GOODNESS sake, do NOT under ANY circumstances leave a cup full of liquid in a normal trash can! Especially when there's a drinking fountain right next to it!

On the note of garbage cans, don't play last-to-be-drafted-in-the-NBA-picks when you're trying to throw something away. (I dislike splatters, and so should you.)

And please actually use them. It's hard for someone who's technically under five feet to reach aaaalllll the way to the top of a locker to retrieve your empty hot chocolate container.

I'm not even sure why this happens (and probably don't want to know why), but this has happened multiple times.... Why do people leave a wad of crumpled up paper towel on the shelf in the stalls? The world may never know.

Don't stick things in places they don't fit.

 And don't leave your programs in every nook and cranny you can find.

Umm....

Please don't lick your finger and then proceed to write on the chalkboard. That's gross for both me and you.

Don't make me break out the goggles and gloves. I look like a big dork in them. (#BathroomSelfie #LikeTheUrinalsInTheBackground?)

And even though I've pointed out many things not to do, there are some things custodians really like. For example:

We do get a kick out of funny notes on our hand-made signs.

 And we do appreciate it when you bring our attention to the fact that something needs fixed. We're not psychics, after all.

And if you need something done but can't find one of us to ask, leave a polite note somewhere obvious so we can do what we can to help you.

I really am grateful for my job. And I really am grateful for the people who make it so I HAVE a job. So that means people like you, kind reader. You are too kind.

*This has been a public service announcement.*